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September 17, 2009

Gaming with a Baby on the Way

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Written by: Dalibor Dimovski
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In a little bit over a month from now, I’ll become a first-time dad.  Quite a heavy weight to take on, but I’m ready.

My gaming habit, however, is not.  It’s obvious that I can no longer buy games at the accelerated rate that I was on, as the incoming cash flow will be geared more towards diapers, toys, and baby food.  I can no longer spend the hours on end playing CoD4 online with buddies, as I’d rather be playing with the little one instead.

This is my first time as a father who games, and I have no idea what to expect.  Will me gaming continue?  Will I be more selective in how I game?  Will I rely on used games, rentals, or borrowing games from friends?

Our own writer Nathan Andrews just had baby #2, a bouncing boy named Lucas, and I can’t even begin to imagine how his gaming habits have changed.

What will I need to do to be prepared for the coming goo’s and gaa’s associated with having a first-time child and STILL be excited for Uncharted 2, CoD6, and New Super Mario Bros?  If you’re a gaming parent, feel free to let me know what to expect… because I sure don’t!



About the Author

Dalibor Dimovski
Dali is the co-founder of SideQuesting, as well as the co-Founder of CarDesignFetish and the founder of MakLink. A long-time blogger/web-designer, Dali currently works as a full-time creative Product Designer in the automotive industry and a deejay. His passions are music, contemporary and classic art, video games (naturally), and his family.




  • http://gaming.icrontic.com primesuspect

    Oh man, being a gaming dad ROCKS. I was a gamer dad from the moment my firstborn came into this world; I would put him in the swing chair and he would watch me play PSX, Dreamcast, and N64. When he was old enough to hold a controller, I let him loose on Yoshi’s Story (N64) and we played it together all the time. By the time he was 3, he had beaten the game, my second son was starting to take an interest, and I bought them a Gameboy.

    My sons are 11 and 10 now, and we game together all the time. It has been a MAJOR bonding factor with us. We are extremely close because we share an intense love for this hobby.

    Let me tell you, there is nothing quite like the feeling of raiding in WoW with your sons, accomplishing a goal together, getting beating by your kid in an FPS, capturing a flag in TF2 as a father/son team, or having your kids brag about what a cool dad you are.

    My son the other day said “Dad, sometimes I just can’t even explain how awesome you are.” and it was one of the greatest things anyone’s ever said to me. When a kid knows that he can talk about something he loves with his dad, and dad shares that with him, it’s a bond that defies explanation.

    You’re gonna love it :D

  • http://drinkingcoffeecola.blogspot.com Brad Gallaway

    Agreed with the last poster. Being a dad who games is the best thing ever… I have two sons (one 8, one 4mos) and watching my younger son grow into games was amazing, not to mention how awesome it is to be able to share something on an equal level. It’s always hard at the start, of course… My own game habits were changed a lot, going from play anytime for any length to basically only after bedtime. Also, I don’t play anything M-rated when my oldest is around, so that’s a limit too. Thankfully, my wife is a major gamer as well, so we never fight about game habits and such… I imagine it would have been much more stressful if I had a wife who wasn’t as understanding. In any event, good luck… Gaming as a dad is different than gaming as a dude, but it’s all good AFAIC.

  • seadub

    @primesuspect — Wow, I must admit, I was having some of the same fears that Dalibor was expressing about my habit. My wife and I are probably going to be having one of our own soon, but your post has made me realize that it doesn’t have to end. I can make them a part of it. After all, that’s what being a Dad is about: passing on the knowledge to make your child a good person! Gaming can teach people some very good life lessons, if they know how to learn them. I look forward to the day when my son or daughter is playing an MMO with me =D

  • Jason

    Ha.

    I’ve got a 5 month old son and my gaming time, while it used to be maybe 2-3 hours a day, is now pretty much relegated to time at night 10-12 PM. And THAT is when my wife doesn’t want to spend “cuddle” time together because during the time he’s awake, we have no personal time at all to hang out.

    What little gaming I do get, I usually have to sneak in and there’s absolutely no way I can play anything where people rely on me to be there for longer than 30 minutes. Which is the toughest thing, so many games are becoming more team oriented and require you to be active the entire time you’re playing.

    I can only hope that when he gets a little older, things will loosen up, he’ll do his thing and I can either have him join in or do it solo. This staying up till 2 AM in the morning to have to then wake up for work the next morning is brutal.

  • Jason

    I should probably add that games that don’t require you to be online and allow you to play and save / pause your game become your friend.

    Nintendo DS, PSP, or Dingoo are great-to-haves because you can carry it with you right next to where the baby is and not lose too much focus on being there for him / her.

    I’m looking forward to playing through Arkham Asylum this weekend, though with the PS3 console it’s usually a toss up between 1) start playing 2) he cries, gotta drop the game and sooth him and 3) thank god, he’s asleep or fine.. let’s try this again 4) start playing again (repeat process 20X).

    Personally, I found that if you can buy a bouncer seat, one that you can use your foot to make the baby bounce or rock, you can get the baby to fall asleep and still have your hands free to play something.

  • Kevin

    As the father of a 5 month old I can tell you the first 3 months gaming will be tough to do. Getting enough sleep will be your priority after taking care of the kid. You will have time here and there but the ability to sit down and dedicate a 3 hour chunk of time to gaming is all but gone, unless you have a wife that is willing to put up with it I guess.

    After that things start to settle down, the baby starts sleeping for longer chunks and you and the missus will have a system in place.

    I can’t say much about the impact to my gaming budget as I am lucky enough to be able to afford what I want, but I imagine that is more of a concern in this economic climate… But what I will say is that you will generally have less time to play so you will become more selective in the games you buy, I know I have.

    I think the biggest change for me is that multiplayer games are not being played at the moment. If I can’t quicksave then I can’t play. :)

  • http://wonderbanana.blogspot.com Marcus

    Firstly, congratulations! Nothing better than being a Dad I assure you!

    I have 4 kids (I’m 33) and despite the hard work; their well worth it :)

    You might enjoy this:

    http://wonderbanana.blogspot.com/2009/09/playing-greatest-adventure-of-all.html

    which will give you a good idea of what its like gaming with a one year old!

    And remember, when the kids get older they great gaming partners; only downside is they end up better than you! Good luck!

  • B

    I’m dealing with this as well. Our first baby is now 5 months old. No playing games for most of the evening anymore. Finding a balance between baby time, wife time, and me time (games, books, etc) is tough.

    It does help that babies go to sleep at 6:00 to 7:00, so there’s time after that. So I try and split it between wife time and me time. Both are very important.

    I play mostly sports games. EA did a wonderful thing to help the last couple of years. The ability to sim individual plays, quarters, or rest of the game on NCAA Football and Madden helps a ton. Now I’ve found I can play a game quicker. Being able to just play offense or just play a quarter, a half, or whatever is really helpful in trying to balance out my time.

    For non-sports games I’d suggest trying to find games where you can save at any point. Games where you can only save at certain points I’m guessing you’ll find very tough to play.

    I try and live more for the weekends, when I can choose to stay up later than weekdays. Both are helping each other out is a huge thing, that way you both can get some me time and there’s less chance you’ll both get burned out, thus there will be less friction between you.