BOWSER RETIRES, MUSHROOM KINGDOM FREE OF KING KOOPA

NINTENDO ANNOUNCES BOWSER IS LEAVING PEACH’S CASTLE

Mushroom Kingdom, September 25, 2025 — Nintendo has announced that BOWSER is RETIRING from his post as King of the Koopas, effective December 31, 2025. The denizens of the Mushroom Kingdom, led by their faithful Princess Peach, alongside the rest of the galaxy and its leader Rosalina, are ready to celebrate with a new era of Peace and Prosperity. Bowser has been known to consistently try to kidnap various Princesses and marry them, thankfully failing each time. Mario, our faithful hero, and his brother Luigi can now rest knowing that they will never again have to jump on and murder Goombas.

Bowser, going by his nickname “Doug,” will be succeded by Devon Pritchard, a 19-year veteran at “Nintendo of America” where she most recently served as the Executive Vice President of Revenue, Marketing and Consumer Experience. The succession plan for the 60-year old Bowser, who succeeded The Regginator, had been in the works for a long time, as (according to our sources and also other podcasts) his tenure was never meant to be overly lenghty. Pritchard had been planned for succession for a while now, and now heads into that role.

It is a new era indeed!